A Pink Vibrator In A Stormy Night
by Female Shinigami
Summary: Just one thing... It's a Free Sex For All fic, with a 1x2x3x4x5 paring... Just don't kill me... Onegai...
1. Squere

Title: A Pink Vibrator In A Stormy Night. (Don't ask me where it came from…)

Author: Female Shinigami, femaleshinigamiop.pl

Disclaimer: I own two peanuts, one empty packet of skittles, a half-empty bottle of coke, a dog, and a big, fucking mess in my room. Even the computer isn't mine. It realy belongs to my parents. I hate my life…

Category: Humor/Romance

Warnings: yaoi, a little bit o'sap maybe, but you will have to look very carefully to find it… and.Im from Poland so my english can be... bad. If you'll see any mistakes, please tell me so I will corect them.

And beware! SILLYNESS ZONE don't take is seriously, cause it's totally fucked up, just like me and my muse, Andy, who can be a real pain in the ass sometimes… But I love her any way! Ya hear me there!So don't bug me anymore, to write another lemon!Oh, and one more thing – probably all of the characters are, ekhem… A 'little' OOC…

Rating: PG-13/R I'm not sure…

Pairings: It's hard to say… It starts from 3x4, 1x5, then there are mentions of 3x1, 4x5, 3x5, 4x1, 1x3x4, 1x3x4x5… and some talking about sex, but they only mention it in this part… well maybe later. And of course it will all end in… tadadadam… 1x2x3x4x5!!! I know I'm sick…

Author's Note: Well, this is a late Christmas present for my Muse, and best (girl;)friend Andy! I also dedicate it to Karpiu, although she probably won't read it… Evil, little fish… Any way, have fun folks, and tell me what do you think about this crap! (Just don't tell me that it is just that – crap…)

Archive: Well any one who will actually want this shit, take it! I will be jumping with joy that someone likes my writing! Only, email me first, so I will know who took it, where did he post it, and, of course, I will be able to thank you!

A Pink Vibrator In A Stormy Night Part 1

Square

Quatre looked from his lover to Heero, who was standing at the kitchen sink, and washing after his lunch.

He smirked and started talking in a fake whisper, so as to be sure, Heero also heard him.

'Trowa, stop ogling Heero like that, or I'll became jealous!' He finished with a mocking tone of voice.

'Seeing the looks his giving you sometimes I'd say we could have a threesome.' Trowa answered in that same fake whisper.

Heero then turned to face them with a completely blank expression. 'Make it a square,' he said, ' I saw how the two of you were drooling all over Wufei.'

'Yeah, we didn't make a move on him just because we were to afraid that you would get jealous of your lover and kill as afterwards…'

'Nah! I wouldn't kill you because of it! I would have killed you because you didn't include me in your play!' They all laughed at that comment.

The room was silent for a while, then Trowa stood up and started walking closer to Heero 'Let's just do it a "Free Sex For All", shall we?' He was acting a little OOC those days, but, hey, pent-up sexual frustration can do that to you, ya know?!1'What do you think, will Wufei agree?'

'Oh, I'm sure he will be weeping with joy. Or something else will…' Heero replied and smirked at the taller boy.

'Eh… but there is one, tiny, little problem…' Quatre suddenly spoke up, announcing that he was still in the room.

Heero and Trowa both turned to him at the same time, question written on their faces.

Quatre took a big breath and finely said: 'Duo.'

They all seemed to think about it for a few moments and then Trowa broke the silence. 'Well, he is on a mission, so we can't discuss it with him now.'

'We can't discuss it with him even when he's back! We don't even know if he's gay! He could be lesbian for all we know!'2 The blond one protested.

'So we will need to find out. Then we will talk about it all together' Heero ended the argument.

Later on, it appeared that they didn't have to do anything, but none of them had a zero-system in their heads, had they?

1 Believe me, it can! It can do many other, horrible things, like for ex. make Heero start laughing maniacally, or go and sleep with Relena! Yuck!

2 Well I think that it is possible… I know he is trying to seduce Relena, and he knows she is also lesbian 'cause she is sleeping with Dorothy! And this thing with Heero and her? It's only a cover-up, so no one will know about her gender preferences! Bwahahahahaha…!

… My own mind frightens me some times…


	2. Temptations

Title: A Pink Vibrator In A Stormy Night. (Don't ask me where it came from…)

Author: Female Shinigami, femaleshinigamiop.pl

Disclaimer: I changed my mind! I do own something! I own my sick mind! Wow!

Duo: There's nothing to be proud of!

Wufei: Yeah, said the intelligent one…

Heero: (hits 'Fei) Urusai. All of you. (submits Death Glare on FS)

FS(Female Shinigami): Urusai my ass! You're sleeping on the couch tonight! Ha!

Category: Humor/Romance

Warnings: yaoi, a little bit o'sap maybe, but you will have to look very carefully to find it…

And beware! SILLYNESS ZONE don't take is seriously, cause it's totally fucked up, just like me and my muse, Andy, who can be a real pain in the ass sometimes… But I love her any way! Ya hear me there!So don't bug me anymore, to write another lemon!Oh, and one more thing – probably all of the characters are, ekhem… A 'little' OOC…

Duo: Yeah, right… A little my ass…

FS: Heero Shut him up! I don't know, kiss him or something!

Heero: Ninmu Ryoukai!

Rating: R Better to rate it to high, but I think this fic is definitely Rated R… Whadaya think?

Pairings: It's hard to say… It starts from 3x4, 1x5, then there are mentions of 3x1, 4x5, 3x5, 4x1, 1x3x4, 1x3x4x5… and some talking about sex, but they only mention it in this part… well maybe later. And of course it will all end in… tadadadam… 1x2x3x4x5!!! I know I'm sick…

A/N: Well, It's me again! How did you like it? Andy was squeaking with joy for good 15 minutes… This part is a Duo POV. Oh, how I love to torture him! Sory that the parts are so short… no excuse for it… I'm just lazy… Also thanks to……… for reviewing the first chapter! And I know that this chapter is weird, but the next one will solve most of the mysteries…

Duo: Like in Scooby Doo! I will be Scooby, Heero – Shaggy, Quatre-Daphne, Trowa-Fred and Wufei-Velma! Scooby-dooby-doo!!!

FS: Heero just shot him! Please!

Archive: Well any one who will actually want this shit, take it! I will be jumping with joy that some one likes my writing! Only, email me first, so I will know who took it, where did he post it, and, of course, I will be able to thank you!

A Pink Vibrator In A Stormy Night Part 2

Temptations

You know, I think it's normal that I'm attracted to boys. I spent all my life around them. First Solo and the gang, then at the Maxwell Church (there weren't any girls with us then. Not many of them could survive on the L-2 streets), and finally now, when I'm stuck up with my four fellow Gundam pilots.

Yeah, It's normal.

But what's not normal is that I have hots for all four of them!

Well, realy, I could blame it on the missions I guess… I was always a 'little' to hyper1, and after all that fighting and killing I have to many hormones drifting through my body.

Then I come back home, to find four, or less, gorgeous boys with great asses, and they would unconsciously do everything to seduce me! So can you blame me?

I just ended one of those missions and was on such a hormonal high that I could bunk a of elephants!

I step into the house, and the sight that greets me is a half naked Heero, laying on a couch, and scratching sensually his bare chest while watching TV! And believe me, spandex don't leave fucking much to the imagination!2 He could be naked, and it would be the same!

I exit the room as quick as possible, enter the kitchen, and what do I see?!

A khaki clad butt grinning up at me!3 Oh, it's just Quatre, who is bending to retrieve something from the lowest cupboard!

I escape from there like a mad man, with a beginning of a hard on. I come to my room, which I share with Wufei(Heero, Q-man and Trowa share the other one. I think Heero had enough of me.), and another picture – took straight from one of my wet dreams – greets me!4

Wufei is in the middle of his exercises and his skin is stretching over his muscles, sweet covering it, almost shining in the dim light of our room.

I evacuate from there, practically running. I want to scream in agony. Or joy. I don't realy know.

But someone up there realy likes to torment me5, because then I run into Trowa in the hall.

He just came out of the bathroom, clad in only a towel, ridiculously low on his hips,6 skin still dump from his shower.

I realy start to run then, my cock hard to the point when it hurts. I pass Trowa and burst into the room he had just exited. I think I realy need a shower, and I don't intend only to wash in it…7

TBC…

1 Yeah, right, a little… And Relena listens to punk-rock or heavy metal!

2 And why do you think Heero wears it?! It isn't comfortable either!

3 Just imagine it! Quatre with a smiling face drawn on his ass! Yay!

4 There are lots of them… I don't know how he is able to remember them all?!

5 Like we all do, like we all do…

6 He barely had time to lower it when he saw you! Trowa: (grin) Quatre: Trowa! Stop that! You'll scare the children!

7 He's also going to sing! Aaaaaaa… Hide people! Danger!

Duo: Hey, I don't sing that bad…

Wufei: You should listen to your self sometime…

FS: That could be done, but he didn't do anything , so we cant torment him like that without a realy good reason…

Quatre: And what could be a good reason to torment him?

FS: Imagine he would start flirting with Pink Queen Relena…

Trowa: We would rather have to take him to a psychiatrist then.

Heero: No we would have to kill him then.

Duo: I hate her! I realy do! Heero just put that gun down!


	3. Quatre's Moods

Title: A Pink Vibrator In A Stormy Night. (Don't ask me where it came from…)

Author: Female Shinigami, femaleshinigamiop.pl

Disclaimer: Why do you make me say it! I DON"T own them ok? runs away crying…

Category: Humor/Romance

Warnings: Total PWP! yaoi, a little bit o'sap maybe, but you will have to look very carefully to find it…

And beware! SILLYNESS ZONE don't take is seriously, cause it's totally fucked up, just like me and my muse, Andy, who can be a real pain in the ass sometimes… But I love her any way! Ya hear me there!So don't bug me anymore, to write another lemon!Oh, and one more thing – probably all of the characters are, ekhem… A 'little' OOC…

Duo: Yeah, right… A little my ass…

FS: Heero Shut him up! I don't know, kiss him or something!

Heero: Ninmu Ryoukai!

Rating: R Better to rate it to high, but I think this fic is definitely Rated R… Whadaya think?

Pairings: It's hard to say… It starts from 3x4, 1x5, then there are mentions of 3x1, 4x5, 3x5, 4x1, 1x3x4, 1x3x4x5… and some talking about sex, but they only mention it in this part… well maybe later. And of course it will all end in… tadadadam… 1x2x3x4x5! I know I'm sick…

A/N: Argh! My computer broke down! Can you believe it! MY computer! I'm gonna get Wufei for that one! Where is justice when we need it! That little Treize-lover is hiding somewhere, but I'll find him sooner or later! (sooner rather than later). And I know it was Heero who messed up with my computer! My neighbor said he saw some boy working on it, and it certainly wasn't my brother! His only three years old, and most people thinks his a girl, because I insist that he has long hair. What can I say? Maby they'll let me dye his hair when his ten? Just imagine... having your own, live Duo at home... Heh... Even if they wont let me do it, I will make a Quatre out of him, or maybe Zechs (Andy would have a joygasm – this 'term' is borrowed from someone, but I just love it!). But for now he is acting more like K from Gravitation, playing with everything that at least looks like a gun, running around the house, trying to shot my dog... God forbid me from making a Trowa or Heero out of him! Just imagine a child answering every question with a 'Hn', or glaring at you and saying 'omae o korosu' when you intend to change its diaper... Oh and **I'm looking for a beta reader** ! Is there anyone who would like to be one? Sorry for all the mistakes, and the delay, but I realy couldn't do any thing about it!

Archive: Well any one who will actually want this shit, take it! I will be jumping with joy that some one likes my writing! Only, email me first, so I will know who took it, where did he post it, and, of course, I will be able to thank you!

A Pink Vibrator In A Stormy Night + Part 3

Quatre's Moods

I came out of the shower half an hour later. Trying not to think about my four fellow pilots, I went to my room to dress properly. It was slowly getting dark, and my stomach started to make funny noises. When I entered my room, I kept my eyes on the floor. I did NOT want to take another shower, and If Wuffie was still in the same state as before, then I would have to. Or I would jump him right then and there, and try to fuck him through the floor. Hmmm… maybe I'll do that anyway… BAD DUO! I suppressed the urge to hit my head against a wall.1

I finally looked around me, and was relived (or not, depends on how you look at it) to see that the room was empty. I sighed and went to stand before my closet. I chose a pair of tight fitting jeans, and just as tight, black T-shirt with the name of an old Earth band 'The Offspring' written on it.2

I braided my hair and slowly made my way to the kitchen. All five of us have developed that strange habit of eating while watching TV so I made some sandwiches and went to the lounge. At this time in the evening almost everybody was there – except of 'Fei, who probably went to take a shower while I made my food. I plopped down on the couch next to Trowa. Heero was sitting in the armchair and Quat was laying on the floor, waving his legs in the air. It was damn distracting, I tell ya! I couldn't get my eyes off of him. And the fact that Trow was sitting so close to me didn't help one bit.

Sometimes I hate my life.

And at the same time I love it.

Wufei soon joined us, and as I expected, his hair was still damp from the shower he took. He sat next to the Blond-Prince-Quatre and I could catch the smell of his herbal shampoo.

'Every thing is against me today!' I thought.3

My dick was getting harder with every moment and there wasn't much I could do about it.4

I think my eyes were permanently glued to Quat's butt, and either I was starting to get paranoid, or Trowa was sliding closer to me every time he reached for the popcorn.

I was hoping that beside all those things it was going to be a normal evening, but – like everything else today – what did happen was exactly the opposite.

You see, when Quatre is bored he gets in one of hiss 'moods' – He's either acting like a puppy, like a little kid, like a mother hen or like a sex-crazed maniac5. Or just shifts from one to another. Apparently he was bored because he suddenly started playing with Wufei's hair…

"They're sooooo pretty! They look like the sky at night…"

"Yeah, especially with all that dandruff that goes for the stars…" I don't know how Heero manages to say such things with a straight face, but I didn't have time to wonder about it, because I was too occupied with laughing my ass off!

"WHAT! I DO NOT HAVE DANDRUFF!" Wufei started checking his hair for any kind of white stuff in them.

"Well Wu, maybe it's not dandruff but some other… fluids." Ok, now I choked and there where tears in my eyes. And when I saw Wuffie glaring and pouting at the same time I thought I was going to suffocate! Only after Trowa patted my back a few times did I mange to calm down. I smiled at Quat, and he grinned back at me, then turned back to the TV.

"This stuff is booooring! Lets watch something interesting!" He grabbed the remote control and started going through every channels available, and considering this house had satellite TV there were a few of them…

"Yes! Gay TV! There's Gravitation in five minutes!" Ok… Now that was not funny. 'But hey,' I thought, 'every one can like Gravitation! They have good music and everything…'

Yeah, no need to get excited…

It's just an anime.

Yeah, right.

At first everything was ok, but when Quat started complaining that they should do more than kiss in that elevator, I was getting quite fucking nervous.

Just imagine. For the past few months I thought that those guys were totally straight, and now I'm watching a gay anime with them, while one of those guys complains that the two main MALE characters should fuck each other, like in Ai no Kusabi. And the rest of guys just nods.

That's not fucking normal!

And it just got better. After the anime ended there was another film. And what can there possibly be on a gay television? You got it! Gay porno!

Just couldn't get fucking better than THAT!

"Hey, Heero! That one looks like you!" Quatre suddenly spoke up. I didn't even want to look at Heero. I was desperately trying to hide my hard on, and Quat's comment didn't help my condition.

"Yeah, and the one screwing with him like rabbits looks like Duo" Wufei smirked at me.

'What I would have gave to fuck with any of you that way…' I thought and closed my eyes.

"And what keeps you from doing just that?" I heard Trowa say.

I didn't just said that aloud did I?

"Huh?" I looked at him. He was definitely getting closer every time he reached for that damn popcorn! God he was practically sitting in my lap!

"I asked what keeps you from screwing one of us? Or all of us for that matter." He said slowly.

"W-what!" All right, so that was unexpected. Very fucking unexpected. I gripped the furniture under me in an attempt to calm down.

"Trowa is asking if you would want to go to bed… with all of us." I heard Quatre ask some where from the floor. Then I felt his chin resting on my knees.

" All… of… us?" I repeated dumbly.

"Yeah, Maxwell. All five of us. In one bed. Naked. Fucking. Just think about all the possibilities…" That was Wufei, who was standing behind the couch, leaning down, whispering to my ear.

"All the positions…" Trowa's hand started going up my arm while he was saying that.

"All that fun!" Quatre yelled.

Oh. My. God.

I think I died.

But I'm not sure if this is heaven or hell.

Suddenly Heero appeared at my other side, his hand touched one of my knees, and then started moving upward.

"What do you think Duo… wanna try it?" 'Fei whispered again, and then liked my ear.

I still wasn't able to say anything.

" Of course he wants to! Just look at this…" And then Heero grabbed my cock and squeezed it lightly. I jumped up a little, but it was kind of hard with all of them around me. And, umm… that wasn't the only hard thing around.

I cleared my throat and tried to speak. "Um… Y-yeah…" I looked at Heero and almost passed out from all that lust that was in his eyes. "Yeah, sure." I said more convincingly.

Then I actually yelped when Heero scooped me up in his arms and started going in the direction of his, Trowa's and Quat's bedroom. I heard Quat laughing, Wufei joking about some handcuffs in his drawer, and Trowa saying something about a new tube of lube in his. But I was too occupied with the feel of Heero's arms around me to worry.

And when he leaned down and kissed me, I lost all my thoughts.

I don't remember doing any thing so good to deserve such a thing, but I wasn't going to complain!

owari

A/N So that would be the end! I think about a sequel to this, but it is just an idea now. I also consider writing the lemon, but if I will do so it won't be posted on Maby I will post it on Well anyway, review people and tell me what you think about it! I'm in the middle of writing three more fics, two of them lemons (1x2 & 1x2x5), and the last one a translation of my fic 'The Worst Hangover Ever'. I hope to end them soon. Well enough of this! See ya next time people! FS.

1 Do you know, that every time, when someone hits your head with a hand, two of your brain cells die? Just imagine what would happen if you'd slam your head against a wall… Some people would become brainless…;)

2 I know he also likes them! I borrowed him all my CD's and he still haven't given them back!

Duo: Oh, its because Heero loves to fuck with music in the background!

Readers(that's you): We SO DID NOT wanted to know that!

FS: Oh stop complaining! We all know you did;)

3 It's for Andy's (and some other peoples) information: DUO DOES THINK! I swear I'm gonna spank anyone who'll say he doesn't, or will make another smart ass comment about it! Why does everyone assume that if he acts like an idiot sometimes (I still don't know WHY he DIDN'T KILL Relena when he had the chance!) he automatically has to be one! I act like a dumb-ass all the time… Well maybe that wasn't such an good example… /

4 Or maybe he just didn't want to. Knowing Duo it was the second reason…

5 When he acts like a puppy he comes to you with that big, watery eyes and pleads you to entertain him in some kind of way. I swear, every time he does that to me I have the urge to pat him on the head and throw him a ball or something… When he acts like a kid he starts asking you questions, gushes over everything, and once he almost cried when I told him we didn't have any strawberry ice-cream… When he acts like a mother hen he mopes around the house complaining about everything, from the dirty dishes in the kitchen, to the dirty clothes hanging from the lamp in my room or laying on my computer (just don't ask…)… When he acts like an sex-crazed maniac he makes lewd jokes to everyone and throws some kinky comments to what we say or do. I usualy like that one, because I love the way the other guys reacts to that…


End file.
